Blog – Fabric of Flavors – Page 4

Fabric of Flavors

Poetry

Ruptures of Brain in Bookreads

January 19, 2022January 25, 2022
by Sameera Khan Rehmani

The book read on impulse

Ruptures on brain freehand

As I encounter other’s experiences,

Forcing them to master the write-up

Which then make our correspondence

Mutual and a piece of our genius.

The occasional fans that we can count

Are proof enough that script does matter

As it impresses the audience heavily

To praise the subtle work of art

Which then makes our correspondence

Mutual and a piece of our genius.

The biographies based on experience

That need writer’s time and attention

The best fiction may be yet to come

And bring award of mass acceptance

Which then makes our correspondence

Mutual and a piece of our genius.

Blogs written for relaxation and fun

Sometimes end up being trailblazers

Due to innovation in the structure, it becomes,

A place that links our emotions

And then make our correspondence

Mutual and a piece of our genius.

Harassed and emotionally devoted characters

Have their own two sides hidden,

That are opposite as a coin

yet seem part of a single whole

Which then makes our correspondence

Mutual and a piece of our genius.

We may get numerous miles apart

yet our collection of memories is one

mutual appreciation of this serious story

Sprawling own wings ready to fly

Which then makes our correspondence

Mutual and a piece of our genius.

I feel the impulse to read that book again

And bathe in persuasive umbrella loopholes

Of themes and dialogues that lures,

My mind to work for relative letters

Which then makes our correspondence

Mutual and a piece of our genius!

Films

Merging the Genders: Working Her Life in Films

January 12, 2022January 12, 2022
by Sameera Khan Rehmani

When we watch films of our choice, as consumers of that content, films lay their focus on our emotional gratification and gradual build-up of a lasting connection with the story, characters and the whole concept of filmmaking. So, when we see our kind in any role on screen, we automatically start resonating with them and the image they project. Though there has been a regular climb in the journey of representation of women and their role on screen, there is a lot left to be desired. From being underrepresented to becoming subordinate selves, they have travelled far and wide and have managed to reach a point where sometimes the whole film can revolve around their character. They have donned the role of independent career woman, with sparks of their own along with their already existing role of homemakers and supporters to male characters. Many times, they go as far as overpowering the male leads due to a well-rounded sketch of the character development.

If we focus upon the image projection of career women in film quite a few times we will see that the women at the top of striving to be a top need to imbibe the qualities of image conveniently projected by men. Be it a corporate character sketch or a media mogul or even a career striving assistant, we witness them be to give the idea to the audience those women need to forgo their sense of softness, emotions, and empathy to reach the top of the chain. They need to self-inculcate a sense of cut-throat competition to reach a set level of success. In a way, they need to become as many as possible to push their way upwards in man’s world. Their need to dress in a certain way that emits power and exclusivity is shown to be one of the key factors of their character development. They require to stay away from so-called feminine qualities since they make them seem weaker in their journey toward success.

But are these stereotypes crucial in role development? Does the audience need to identify with them? Would it help women in general and will they truly get emancipated? Is the identification of ‘self’ with the ‘other’ important or does building up of women characters close to the real-life need to increase in number? The transition of real to reel and vice versa need to be talked in seriousness because the message that these films impart perhaps unconsciously leave a lot of loopholes when the human population in general and women in particular start to believe the absolute necessity of being like the ones they see and identify themselves with on screen. While drawing a working woman character sketch we end up over masculinising them, we gradually lose the sensitive trail of the human race. We tend to forget and forgo the beliefs integral to humanitarian co-existence by painting everyone in one colour or by picking up one umbrella to save all from the outpour. In turn, we end up dehumanising the concept of success and power by common gendering the beautiful differences that make an individual unique.

The films may come and go, the characters may change with time, but what stays is the impression that is already made. The human mind is very strong, and a memory made in time stays back. The fluidity with which sometimes films dehumanise and degrade the qualities of love, affection, empathy, and sense of sympathy that is core to women and humanity, in general, is quite alarming to absorb. It leaves a big question mark about the intent towards the sense of women empowerment in society through media and technology. Are we creating stronger women or are we recreating the need for stereotypes that may have a feminine face but already existing and thriving personality of their male counterpart? A question that we as women need to ask ourselves and to those who create characters about our empowerment. Is there a need to merge genders unconsciously to show a working success of the female sex or do we desperately need to let it go with the flow…

Opinion Shack

Touch me not for I can Heal!

December 31, 2021
by Sameera Khan Rehmani

Humans are emotional and our response to these emotions, in turn, makes us a part of the race. The way we react to a simple comforting touch or harsh physical pull and push is just one way to show our immediate response to the sense of touch. This response comes as naturally to us as the breath that we take every day. We get these responses to our stimuli so often that we almost take them for granted. As individuals, we develop our thoughts and opinions based on our responses to those stimuli, be it physical, emotional, or psychological. Our everyday correspondence is the result of that tactile build-up. This synthesis arises when we experience our ideas along with each moment of our interaction with anything living or non-living.

How wide or close is the space between that stimulus and corresponding response, makes up our opinions and reactions in our behaviours. Similarly, if we consider our interaction with plants, they are unable to react to us physically as per their basic characteristics. However, plants like Mimosa Pudica in a way defy the norm and manage to surprise even the most sceptical of us! Its characteristic of shutting its leaves the moment we touch them is a reflex that makes us realize that nature provides us with elements of surprise now and then. We just need to come closer to enhance our knowledge.

Apart from its response to our touch, this plant even shows its capacity to open and close at sunrise and sunset, respectively. Since there is such a unique quality of Mimosa with its reactions to the ability of touch, usually it becomes a perfect specimen for experimenting upon for the memory repetitions of its habit of closing. There is a mimosa pudica in all of us. It may be visible or hidden as a trait, but each one of us responds to the stimuli that we come across in our lives. We experience life through a variety of touches that we experience in our daily living. Our vision may overshadow our thoughts, but the touch makes us more receptive to creating our perceptions, actions, reactions, and psychology. Apart from psychology, there is a deep philosophy that makes us who we are because of the sense of touch we develop throughout our lifespan. A simple touch, pressure, or an innocent poke has the power to depict our emotions and perceptions about our relationships and personality.

Our response to stimuli is so intense that one simple touch can develop our sense of trust and connection by reducing the stress hormones (cortisol). A kiss, a hug, those back rubs, an unconscious gentle physical contact for twenty minutes, is enough to release oxytocin. This is the confirmation that pushes medical science to heighten the usage of touch with the new life that is born. More physical proximity with young ones has proven to develop their cognitive, motor skills and decrease chances of violence and aggression in their behaviour. In a way, the touching becomes more therapeutic, almost like a healing power for the productive development of humans. The intensity of the impact of this sense of touch can be similarly observed in plants like ‘touch me not’.

We, humans, are sometimes so selective that just like despite Mimosa Pudica’s major healing abilities to be antibacterial, anti-venomous, antifertility, antidepressant, and others, what strikes us as a normal human being is its ability to shy away and take time off from being a subject of touch. The same goes with our interaction with other humans as well. Every kind of interaction has its relevance and importance but unconsciously what deepens our connection with any stranger is the body response, the way we react to their physical proximity is what makes or breaks our connection with them. One physical connection can change our perception and response. The subject we behaving as a mimosa can always be in the focus of discussions as part of human response.

Our memory and response to it are also quite like the memory that is unique to mimosa that connects with human memory and its compliance. Where the plant has its memory to realize whether it needs to close its leaves as a defence mechanism, humans also react to any new entry with a sceptical approach. We initially close our barriers to new things to prevent ourselves from any prospective harm. However, like a mimosa, the continuous touching of its leaves, sometimes reduces its effort to utilize its energy to close its leaves once it finds the touch to be the same. Similarly, we also react in likewise manner when we are sure of a person or a situation on whom with time, we build our trust. We too tend to open our arms and develop acceptability to the known trustworthy individuals and situations. Such an interesting observation!

Then there is the element of surprise that brings out its intense action of closing away its petals making one curious further. In a way being shy and reclusive is more attractive. It is as if the plant wants to say that we can term it as a paradox. Just like the plant, we also believe in the forbidden fruit. The more something becomes unattainable for us, the more we try to capture it. It is the mystery behind that lures us to dive deeper. When someone tries to get away from us, that triggers our brain to know why! We want to unfold the person’s mystery so that there can be a conclusion for our self-gratification. It is our need to reach our sense of peace that we either totally reject their existence or run after them to know more and satisfy our curiosity about them. We can reserve or reject the power the other person holds over us just like the plant.

This touch-me-not like those who are unattainable to us, have the power to become our craving to know more about them! When Edward Thorndike explained in his Stimulus Response Theory, he believed strongly that all that we learn in our lives is a result of the connection between the stimulus and the response. He in a way opens our mind to the idea about why we believe what we believe in and how we behave because of our beliefs.

Even though psychology may differ and point out that there are other factors apart from the response and its stimulus, but we cannot ignore them because how we react to things in our everyday life shows a strong reflection of these two in our behaviours and the reasons behind! The importance of stimuli just like in Mimosa Pudica is remarkably like human relationships to their reactions to a sense of touch. This may have become a controversial topic to discuss with time because of the development of various other factors, but our proximity to emotions and behavioural pattern relies heavily on how we as individuals respond to the other when in close physical proximity compared to our reactions when far away. Therefore, our sense of stimuli pulls our gears to react to others in a unique way, human or otherwise!

Poetry

Duality of Visual Pleasures

December 21, 2021December 21, 2021
by Sameera Khan Rehmani

As I react to visual pleasures that lay open

And try to counter reason of their fame

Try to ask question that impartially contain

Cinematic positions with mental narration

But does it cater to male pleasure,

Or do these fantasies lie deep within us?

Are we forgetting about women themselves

Or do we blame the whole on other?

Are we even listening to gaps in response

Where base of text covers what questions we ask

Does it cater only to male pleasure

Or do these fantasies lie deep within us?

Consumers sometimes cross all boundries

melodrama remains the same throughout

desires catering to everyone present

Asks why do we restrict it to only one?

Does it cater to only male pleasures

Or do these fantasies lie deep within us?

When we try to have our afterthoughts

And sleep deeper into that visual conduct

Since we do not have freedom of invisibility

We are far away from enjoying freedom of thought

Questioning whether it really cater to male pleasure

Or do these fantasies really lie deep within us?

How about we merge the mental two

Bring them far away from their differences

Perhaps our questions wouldn’t be judged

becoming answers to the puzzles at hand that,

Does it caters only to male pleasure

Or do these fantasies lie deep within us?

Opinion Shack

Where the Paths Meet – The Rationality of Human…

December 13, 2021December 13, 2021
by Sameera Khan Rehmani

Our sudden outbursts as individuals are more termed as gender-specific categories. Be it a wife, mother, daughter or any other living soul these sparks of expressions are termed as ‘burst of emotions.’ These emotional sparks may be gender-fluid, however, the point to focus is way beyond gender demarcation. The crux lies in the fight of all of us as individuals with passing on the trophy from emotionality to rationality! Who we are is of least importance because in this discussion what is more crucial is, demarcations between theory and practicality behind the behaviour! Have we proudly categorized humans as beings with the power of rationality? We have uplifted ourselves from the animal kingdom by putting a suffix ‘social.’ This social animal has the wisdom enough to reason and judge the aspects of his living so that we all can co-exist harmoniously. We use signs and symbols to make our choices upon our rationality and instincts.

solving, problem, -, concept, crumpled, paper head silhouette, autism, neurology, asperger, dementia

Our behaviour is the result of our mental understanding and psychological inclinations of these symbols that form our perceptions and views. We further try to alienate psychology from philosophy due to the latter being more qualitative in approach than the former. However, this attempt to separate self from the other seems to only result in the neglection of integral problems that rely on theories as well. The theory behind rationality focuses on the ideas of rational actors, the invisible hand, and self-interest. During the study of our emotions, humans assume these as part of our behaviour at different moments in time. The choices we make while sailing through psychology, economics as well as philosophy explains our actions through the Rational Choice Theory. Here each human makes his or her choices in life and uses the concept of self-interest to make beneficial decisions. They weigh the pros and cons and keep intact their rationality to produce the best possible decisions for themselves.

This versatility of the Theory of Rationality makes it possible, that we used it in a variety of contexts, qualitative as well as data-oriented fields. For instance, when we apply this theory to the Gaming industry, we will witness the extent of preciseness and objectivity that come in its application. Despite the flow of emotions during the actual play process, there is a deep involvement of mathematical patterns, even though the focus is upon interactions and reactions of individuals. Moreover, in such situations, this rationality becomes integral because of the outcome that is the result of the choices they make in comparison with the available options. Thus, the whole industry utilizes the rational aspect of the Theory of Rationality so that specific rules, can be set to bring out the desired results. Thus, games such as poker, bridge, and others, or a journey to the casino even though it brings out our hidden emotions while playing; have a one-track mind and rationality of keeping the ball in the court of the makers. At the time, the makers or owners have already decided our victory or loss way before we sit on the ‘hot seat’!

The other aspect of rationality is equally important. It is the emotional angle that relates strongly with the rationality of the human brain and reaps in psychological dynamics to its understanding. This emotionality confirms the correctness of human understanding of perceptions and their resultant evaluations. Even though we understand emotions traditionally to be a strong hurdle in the cognitive methods (Simon, 1967), Still they end up moving together towards mutual existence. We humans need to juggle forward and backward to explore the conflicting personalities of rationality and emotions as interlinked subjects. To study and comprehend the various connections, bodies, and levels of activity of the human mind, we need to struggle with their understanding to reach a level of reasonable understanding.

What we feel is how we react. The reaction may be conscious or unconscious but there is a hint of constant subconscious rationality involved in resultant emotions. The relation between our rationality and involved emotions involves philosophy, neuroscience, psychology along hidden logic and reasoning. In fact, there is a very visual relationship between both and the actions that occur due to their cause and effect are proof that our overall behaviour is an amalgamation of our conscience laced with emotions that erupt due to rationality present. Our frustration with our spouse’s or partner’s certain habit may have a rational reason behind it. However, our fear of darkness may not have a visible logic to us, but these are habits that form our behaviour because of the interlocking of emotions and rationality, and we cannot ignore one to give importance to the other. They are like twins that may not be identical in physicality but still have their interlinked behavioural traits!

Opinion Shack

Do we really need to ‘Man Up’- Feminism and…

December 6, 2021December 6, 2021
by Sameera Khan Rehmani

When I am feeling down or am at a low point in my emotional journey and I hear people tell me to ‘man up’, I frustratingly want to scream out that do I really need to? If I need to be successful or if I want to get what I need in life, do I really need to so-called, develop a spine, chin up and be a man? Do these cliched terms really hold weightage to be able to dive into a man’s world? I can still feel shifting of gears, winding of clock hands when I am sitting in a group and the word ‘feminist’ or concept of feminism arise! Out of nowhere there is a sense of scepticism when the conversation proceeds in that direction. I wonder why the word is made to be stayed aloof of. Why is it so that even after so much of social, developmental changes around, whenever we talk about feminism, the stereotypes start emerging? What exactly is feminism for us? What kind of people do we define as feminists? What kind of geographical boundaries do they define? What culture do they project and what identity do they have according to the rest? All these questions and many more have numerous answers and charge varied form of energies when talked upon. For many of us, the term till date is a topic to arise controversies and perhaps bake our own breads in the resulting heat. For others it a dangerous area where once one enters becomes vicious circle from where it is difficult to come out. Overall, a simple idea of mutual respect under the term has been converted into a topic of so many discussions and national and international chaos and controversies that the core has deviated over the period for most of the people venturing into the field. So, when someone call the other, feminist in today’s chaotic times, or when the other proclaim self to be a feminist, an unknown aura of distaste and sectionalising the person appears for the meaning of ‘feminism’ has been distorted for reasons known best to most of us. In fact, in present times, it becomes almost troublesome to explain or convers over the ideas of feminism without resulting in being judged as a person of prejudice or extreme negative feelings regarding people of any sexual orientation.

Where traditionally, the gender stereotypes used to explain men to be species of power, control, and masculinity, while women were the supporters, feminine, and carrier of femininity that shows their weakness and dependence for support from their male counterpart. With time these boundaries have softened to greater extent and women have made their existence shown and appreciated to a certain extent in the so called male dominant society. However, in doing so we may see them loosing to themselves only. They in a way win some but at the same time loose to self to a certain extent. Now I am not criticising any view, method, or context of feminism at hand because being a part of it I realise the difficulties face by each one of us at every small step. So, demeaning any method to gain equality in not my intent. However, I believe strongly in trying to make reach that invisible balance that may help our fight to gain equality and genuine respect for other sexes by normalising the term. There is a great need to generalise it for normal everyday life not to box or categorise feminism into any sort of elite theoretical idea if we need it to stay focussed and in focus of its initial aim.

One of the major reasons we end up being judged overusing the term feminist or feminism is because we tend to unconsciously masculinise the word and its essence. For instance, in order to be successful for a woman in “man’s world”, she has to be hard, objective border lining ruthlessness and not being emotional self. That is what we mostly see in media be it television, films, or views of all sexes in general. We associate the identity of feminists according to a particular physical appearance, psychological though process of being emotionless, mental capability of detaching with our core which is by nature soft, and caring. Often, we have been told or hinted that to break into the male dominant world or to be successful in life we as women need to in a way become them. And we readily, perhaps happily do so. But while doing the same we forget to realise that this is not the crux of feminism. The change of identity is not what we need to be a feminist. What we need is our acceptance as we are, with the package that we bring in to write our own success story and not to become some other successful being. We can wear whatever we like, look however we want, behave or feminine, emotional, empathetic self (without guilt), if we want and yet be flag-bearers of concept of feminism, loud and proud! We need not be a hardcore activist, although we need to respect those who are. Negative stereotypes that are built around those who radicalise the whole idea of feminism need to shatter with loud noise so that there is a clear picture for those who has up till now not realised the real reason and power of the word ‘feminism’. The gap between women or anyone who claim to be feminist and those who do not agree with the methods taken by the former need to lessen because the aim for all of us need to coincide and live harmoniously in co-existence with each other respectfully.

So, when we see a tough woman at a senior position in official capacity on or off-screen, we need not identify with it in real life to project our affirmation with feminism. We need to synthesize that this projection of a particular character in a certain behavioural capacity is just individualistic. We cannot generalise and normalise this generalization. We need to absorb the fact that losing our natural instincts or acquiring the characteristics that are not natural to use will not make us successful enough, strong enough or ‘man enough’. How about if we try to remember and believe that to be a feminist or a believer in feminism a woman does not really need to ‘man up’!

Opinion Shack

Princess and that Pea: Shift in Women Anxiety Post-Marriage

November 29, 2021November 29, 2021
by Sameera Khan Rehmani

When time changes and our clock seem to tick away, there is a constant change in the society and social acceptance as well. As women shift their focus on their social, economic, and individual well-being, each day bring a set of new experiences for them and for those who are directly or indirectly related to them. They start recognising and respecting their being, behaviour, level of motivation towards their professional as-well-as individual roles as serious contributors in social existence. Their sense of self-assertion increases with the increase in interaction with the regular changing surrounding environment. This is a major influencer in almost reversing the dynamics of woman as an individual entity. There have been various influencers, theorists, thinkers like Heidi I, Hartmann (1981), Louise Wattis and Liz James (2013) and personalities like Moen (1991) and others who have been advocating the importance of family in the success of women in their career decisions. However, there is another side that focus on deconstructing the strength of these women, their sexuality, work, and the aspect of reproduction as well. They focus on the various experiences that these women come across hindering their economic and educational growth manifolds. To have a keen sense of one’s identity is integral to any individual’s uniqueness, irrespective of genders. It is dominantly important for women since their level of social and economic suppression has become a continuous process with little exceptions here and there. The more we rise as individuals or as a united entity, the lonelier this journey seem to be. Whether we can break barriers or not, the sense of being someone special and separate from the common line of thought increases at a faster pace. The marital adjustments and the scale of resultant depression looks to be consistent among working and non-working married women. It is even prevalent even in the happiest among us because with the increase in our understanding of self, the level of dissatisfaction in relation with our changed identity increases manifold! The idea of being princess of male species in our lives at all levels have resulted in creating a severe pressure to maintain that unattainable goal in their eyes and for all the others that come with this package of marriage.

This morning when I woke up. I dragged myself off the bed that has been my comfort zone since I remember. The beds may change, the homes may turn into houses, the mattress can change their quality, but the space has always been my sanctity. A place where I run off to when I want it all to go away. A princess whose change of place bring a great discomfort for her own self as there is always a hidden pea somewhere underneath that ends up bruising her. But if we ponder further, we might find the stereotypical acceptance of a woman only after confirming to the already existing and flourishing standards set for them by the society. The acceptance may seem to be mutually dyadic as far as the family adjustments are concerned, however the spreadsheet has a different take over the kind of expectations from the new member in the family. The absolute quality of life and the success of family relations however end up at the footsteps of women in general and their capability and capacity to adjust. The resultant respect and acceptance with the inner circle of family thus becomes the hanging carrot at the end of the tunnel!

The sun may look brighter today. Unlike any other day, it appears warmer despite the winters. The warm walls of our home have managed to keep harsh wind at bay. It all seems calmer inside. Whether there is chilly wind outside or harsh season ahead, one cannot really feel the changes at large dur to the centrally maintained temperature. Still the peas are rolling restlessly to get under the mattress of my and your skin. Women can feel the desperation of their own as pulls the strings of calmness. They are continuously banging at door of patience to let them in. Should she be brave enough to let them try their hand at messing with our mind or should we play safe and just keep our doors locked. The queen and prince regardless of their gender stand together with their nose looking down upon us, new entrants to prove our obedience and compliance. The mould to be a certain way and to behave in a particular manner has already been made. Now all we must do is, fit in! It may sound so simple, but at what cost? When our mental stability and peace is at stake, are we ready to make these insane standards sane for our survival? This superficial attaining of an ideal quality of life to maintain our social, physical, and mental well-being end up being a dissatisfied gender unable to satisfy look of constant judgement in our so-called accepters’ eyes. The doubt become so transparent in our credibility that during our post-married life, we sometimes end up doubting our own self. Our obligatory justifications become crucial instruments in creating mountains out of molehills thus giving and rearing personal anxieties.

We do feel, at multiple points, this new family is fidgeting away to leave our side while trying to project their full support simultaneously. The reason for their want and need for our strict adherence to their protocols looks to be their need to protect their own image. The new family in a way seem to become like all those peas that are common throughout, ready to hurt intentionally or unintentionally. Moreover, the deliciousness of whole course of this conversation lies in the mere fact the peas subconsciously become the real culprit behind this whole fiasco. They become that upper crust which bend the princess in me and you to come down to their level and prove our innocence! The greasiness of the blame game is the amount that each one of us is ready to take in. This new family that we as females decide to join for life is that chaotic kingdom that keeps on stretching our limits to decide whether to accept us as part of their own is a good enough decision or not. In this whole journey of them blaming us to unable to do so and us trying to break free, we are forgetting our originality and strength hidden behind our visible delicateness.

We observe the influence of the spouse and his associated members irrespective of their genders. It builds up erratic behaviour and constant prevalence of increased level of anxiety in new female members of that family, be it as a wife, mother, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, or any other prospective relation. These depressive disorders that sometimes borderlines severe anxiety leading to potential insanity in female sex is very grave in seriousness and can even reach to a level of no return in certain severe cases. You and I seem to be of opinion that the fragility is our unique selling point. We show our weakness at the wrong time, and it becomes visible enough to be a bait for digging our own grave. When they question our credibility as nurturers, homemakers, and supporters repeatedly, even if our economic resilience is prevalent and so are the intentions. Our strength becomes our weakness, and we huddle up at the far end of the walls to save ourselves from our own decisions in the time of our identity crisis. We need to remember when it is time to pack our bags, the princess in you and me end up on our own. We have no one to fall back on except our own tired backs from the everyday burden of carrying our damaged selves. The same mattress at that time seem to hurt us at very smallest of bump.

We feel tired, our eyelids seem to have a will of their own. A peaceful and respectable sleep seems to be far away from us because when we decide to spend a part of our present and future with someone else, the trust that we put in our relationship mostly, is blind. When we need to stand up at our two tired but strong feet, we need to decide the meaning and relevance of mutual respect all around us. When men in general or our own gender push women towards their limits, since we are outsider to their comfort zone and need to fit in; what is most important is our trust in self-respect and our abilities. We must be ready all the time without fail to pick our fragments and sanity that is of utmost importance. To hell with her prince and sweet taste of his kingdom! What women must remember, is to be able to spread their wings everywhere without any fear of having them clipped. The throne and our happy conclusions do not matter because what is really needed, is survival of our identity as individuals. We need to be alert enough to mend the damage done so that we can rise from our own ashes. People including us must remember that, the moment we decide to leave our own comfort zone and respective castles and enter a new relationship, we have already given a (not-needed) proof of our credibility and mettle. By signing that contract with another individual, we have automatically gained the right to live , the way we want. This needs to handed over to us with full and equal relevance, acceptance, and respect. Hence we repeatedly need to remind ourselves and our own, the fragility that world identifies our appearance with, is merely an outer

covering that acts like the onion peel covering innumerable layers or are various identities. There hides a tough nail underneath, and no pea, prince, queen, king, or kingdom can break that! It is our castle; our mattress and it is up to us to decide our strength and decisions in using the same!

Poetry

Voice of Reason

November 27, 2021
by Sameera Khan Rehmani

Her voice is an answer to his gaze

Breaking free desires of gender within

Fluid flow of thoughts that arise

Demonstrating values of ideas within

Fighting unconscious crisis of masculinity

Gives boost to its monstrous femininity.

Thinkers make their own stories

Reading through ideas of theories

Testing examples that lay upfront

Evolving with influence of lost time

Fighting unconscious crisis of masculinity

Gives boost to its monstrous femininity.

Signals those regular signs to understand

Of loosing relevance of era on feminism

What impact do their use and abuse have

When branding is often made unthinkably

and Fighting unconscious crisis of masculinity

Gives boost to its monstrous femininity.

With regular revolutions for women

readers need to understand as well that

Work is groundbreaking part of books

lives its life full of deeper thoughts within

since fighting unconscious crisis of masculinity

Gives boost to its monstrous femininity

What we need is an wide open door

Giving way to distinctive approach

Where we do not just close our eyes

And curse existance of one over other

For fighting unconscious crisis of masculinity

Gives boost to its monstrous femininity.

Illusions of superficial beliefs

Come in way of wholistic growth

To speak for one and not fight other

We hope to demonstrate value to each

Since fighting unconscious crisis of masculinity

Gives boost to its monstrous femininity.

Opinion Shack

From Pregnancy to Childbirth and After: Are we Judging…

November 24, 2021
by Sameera Khan Rehmani

The extent of strength and wisdom for the choice of becoming a mother needs to be a self-healing process for a woman, rather than becoming a laugh out loud topic of coffee-table discussion about her capability to birth naturally or under a knife! The moment I became a mother to my now 8-year-old, I realised another facet of motherhood that I didn’t even comprehend at the time I decided to plunge myself into the choice. As gratifying as it is without a doubt to be a mother, I cannot deny the amount and extent of subtle and not-so-subtle flack I received personally and am continuing to receive, regarding my grip around motherhood! This makes me wonder are there any other or if I must say many others like me as well, or am I the chosen one? I certainly hope not! I still remember the journey through my 9 months. The pressure to be a mother at the right time took away a little bit of joy and spontaneity out of my decision to be one because many were politely guiding me that time was ticking. Then when I did decide to go ahead with my pregnancy in my own time, I realised how scared I was. The whole idea of childbirth despite going through the whole self-educating process and pre-natal classes, I was scared till my roots with the process of natural birth that is so natural for women according to most of us women! I couldn’t find a single support to confine into despite coming from a background of open communication in my family. My own thoughts and resevations regarding the initiation of any form of related discussion stopped me from opening up. Perhaps at the time I felt that no one would takeit seriously or may be I would be judged for my inhibitions. I now realises my post-partum depression phase started long before I gave birth to my adorable bundle of joy.

The point is, even though we may be liberal in our approach and educated in our outlook or independent in our mind, the feeling of being judged and the fear of doing wrong still stays strong for many of us. Since we are kept at a pedestal for being women of divinity for bring a a being to life, the responsibility becomes so intense that motherhood many times scare the living daylights out of us. It is so integral to make childbirth a normal and individualistic experience without any subconscious stigma out of the choice to bring out a life in this world. Instead of how, what need to be of greater importance should be the concept a giving life to a being rather then how the process should be. It should be as normal to go under the knife as a natural birth. For those who go for latter, congratulations! But for those who willingly or unwillingly go for former, it should just be as natural without a guilt trip in toe. At the end of the day, we are on the same side, right? We all are rare in our own way, bringing that tiny being in this world one way or the other. There are enough of others already ready to judge us for our every decision. We need not add ourselves in the queue to judge our own. Afterall we are chip of the same block!

Women need to reclaim their control over their bodies physically and mentally. They need to realise their power over their own physical and mental endurance pre and post birth, without being told by them or their own how and why. We do not need any sort of interference regarding the decisions we make regarding the body that his our own and to bring another life to forefront by anyone who claim to know us and our type better than our own. How we want to have a childbirth, how many we want to give birth to are decisions that should be made only by us and no one other then us has capacity to understand our body’s need and threshold. There is no space to fall ourselves into guilt regarding the choice of childbirth we make. Choosing one over the other does not make us weaker or stronger as a being. What make us weak or strong is our buckling under the pressure of outer being to choose a specific path for our very personal and special moment of growth and its acceptance. Our alienation from the pressures of pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood is of utmost importance because the decisions we make at those individual moments have the capacity to affect our whole personality and future as individuals, mothers, and as integral part of society!

Literature in Life

Humpty Dumpty and that wall

November 22, 2021November 22, 2021
by Sameera Khan Rehmani

It is normal for all of us to be afraid. Feeling of fear comes naturally so that we can balance the intensity of danger. It helps to outline our boundaries regarding our phobia of happenings around us thus in turn stimulating our instincts. When Freud gave his understanding about anxiety or fear in 1926, his context was focussed on the idea that fear grows as a reflex or response to the dangerous situation around. I am trying to work on the same but in this write-up for me that dangerous situation can be physical, emotional, psychological, situational, or incidental or any other circumstantial. The fog of loneliness leads to fear of being left behind, or inability to come out and speak or even break free from any available physical or virtual shackles that we human come across in everyday life. This feeling of emptiness bordering fear makes me recall a poem ‘Humpty-Dumpty’ in my childhood. Now that I recall the words and illustrations that I absorbed at the time connect my dots to this idea of loneliness and breaking of barriers and trying to come out of the corner, perhaps with few scratches or bandages in hand.

For me the fog is way too thick. However much I try to peep through the French windows, and it all may seem to be Greek for me but here is this permanent question that makes me wonder how, is it a good day! I always think each day is good because I need it to be, every morning. The Humpty Dumpty I see is always sitting on the thin wall made of flaking crust of uncertainties. Surprisingly, the same Humpty Dumpty also knows that he will eventually fall. The question will it be a great fall or does he get somebody to break it all! He knows his vulnerability of turning to immediate mush right after that little crack. He feels strongly right now to protect the fragile image at all costs. In doing so he tries to cross the wall. He is ready to forget the depth of the land from the top. He is even ready to risk the image while protecting the same. The king’s horses and men are not far behind eager to put him together, but the Humpty Dumpty must be careful. These so-called healers may instead be the dealers who do more damage than help while fixing the broken shell! Their cannon may not aim at him directly, but the ground and wall below. But perhaps they fail to realize this Humpty Dumpty is not a mere egg who is vulnerable regarding the survival. It is in fact more of a cannon that can blow the wall itself. Almost like a ticking bomb, this Humpty Dumpty is ready to blow off many barriers in front. It may end in his own destruction still at least he can retire in peace to be able to fight against numerous odds. Hey Humpty! Look again. The fog is setting, the mist lays low. You are perhaps all set to go! Build up this fire and load the powder and set it loose. It will hit the wall on its own and deed will be done. You may or may not survive but your aim will be right. It is bullseye for you. See, this Humpty is you and me sitting on our own cannon that is already ignited perhaps by unseen, unnamed kings, and men. All we need is to forget the probable fall and possible cracks in our delicate shell. I believe will not be mushy mess inside even if we break because there is a strength hidden in our flowing matter.

As I grow older, I end up meeting more and more of existing Humpty Dumptys. I am amazed yet happy in their number because this proves to me that I not the only one who is fighting a lonely battle. I feel there are many more hidden inside their hard cover. The numbers are not clear, but their effect can be seen in the visibility of so many heads trying to break the wall! The wall of negativity, unacceptance, hatred, negativity, judgements, alienation, and everything that demarcates between two headcounts. My dear Humpty Dumpty, I am now sitting in my walled chamber to write this letter to you. I may be a chicken head where it comes to blowing away my cannon, I may be scared as hell for the outcome or may have my own weird inhibitions to come out, but I am waiting. I am waiting for you to break my wall and drag me out. I want you to desperately push me over to stand on this wall and do my ropewalk. I want to take that leap of faith no getting scared to break my shell. I believe this fellow has that strength to pick up its pieces and tape them away. All I need is for you to extend your hand for all like me and make us crossover the wall! Those men and their kings need to weaken in front of our stubbornness. They need to bow down to our will power and must realise that we are not afraid to fail and fall anymore. We have our own bets and our separate trial and turbulences. But We the Humpty Dumptys are ready to face each challenge as they come. The road may seem to be harder, the wall higher but it now needs to be clear to all that it takes two to make one smile and those two are part of self only. So, with all due respect to the king and his men, you have no other choice but to let Humpty Dumpty be, accept it or not he is too far away from your grasp. You do not affect him that way now. What maximum you can do is bruise him along the way but that is nothing in front of the new gained courage of this Humpty because he not the only one to dare to sit on the wall, he has many other like him to support his climb and ready to break his fall. They can for sure put this Humpty Dumpty together again!