Starbucks – SKR Web

May 3, 2023October 3, 2023
by Sameera Khan Rehmani

How many times have you felt like running away? This question is running like wild horses in my mind, and I want to ask you all the same. Do you ever feel like running away? From actions, reactions, things in general and people or maybe from life itself? I was sitting in Starbucks yesterday, with my favorite latte and hunting for something interesting to write on. On my right side, I felt someone fidgeting with a hot drink in hand. I felt the guy was trying to peak in my laptop to see what I was working on. I turned to him and smiled, and it all began! His one question out of blue was, “have you ever tried to run away from things?” Well, he had my attention now. I looked at him and immediately replied, “yes. All the time!” He thought for a moment and the dam opened for him now. What was my conversation with him for the next 30 mins or so is not important for you all but what I am about to write is the crux of what we discussed, and I want to work upon in my write-up for today? I feel so glad that I was there at that time!

I am almost sure that there has been a need in most of us to have that sense to belong to someplace where there is no judgment for what you choose to follow or believe in? Each time we go to our self-chosen place of worship to try to live and make peace with the sins that we commit in unconscious conscience, the question of our sense of belongingness arises. The idea when it all breaks down to our existence depends upon a supreme power that holds its all together for those who believe in it. For those who don’t their self-questioning comes as their salvation and rescue. Whatever thought we may have, we need that one uniform force for us as individuals to bring us around to sanity. The question that we ask ourselves at one point or the other is, who do we belong to. To those who give us strength or to those who break our hearts and make us stronger to pick up our pieces –

The morning that brings us out of our deep dark thoughts, spin like a never-ending circle, and ends up breaking our hope, dreams, visions, and fantasies. Remember, each time we fall, there must be that self-wish to stand up and move on. This uniform thought of survival brings that well-rounded concept of uniformity of ideas in our sense of belongingness. The strength moves us to move away from what makes many among us believe that there is nothing that can save us from our doom. Even at our lowest, these are such moments when we end up fighting our thoughts with positivity to find our little happiness. This is the uniformity of belongingness that I am talking about. The sense of belongingness makes us fight for survival. The will to wake up each morning and do what we do is what belongs us to our uniform thought of living. The broken records that scratch around those lyrics that try to break us are the ones that add a uniqueness to the lyrics sometimes.

These may sound like one of the many random thoughts that I end up penning down each week. How about we take these random thoughts and put them in our everyday thoughts, beliefs, and actions. That would be the moment you, me, or anybody and everybody will synthesize the gravity when we all are standing at that edge and try to find the breadth to be able to float just above the waters. Our need to belong or hold on to something or someone (even ourselves) is so intense that we don’t even realize it gradually seeps into our everyday actions, words, and lifestyle. When you go to sleep each night what that is feeling that is dominant in your mind and heart. The emotions may vary, and you may feel a sense of happiness, contentment, excitement, or hope and positivity. You may feel sad, discontented, angry, jealous, disheartened. There may be feeling of revenge, crudeness, hatred, or depression. They may be many more emotions that may run as you wind up your day, but the important angle is getting ready for the next day to do the needful. This sense of uniformity makes us stay alive in all shapes and form and bring a sense of rootedness and belongingness amongst us. If there is no balance and harmony in these emotions this is where the dice start rolling backward and the extremity of actions happen!

The movies that we watch, the literature that we read, the songs that we hear, may strum that chord we are so sensitively attached to. They may sometimes bring out our frustration, anger for all the wrong that has been done to us or our likes. At other times they make us understand the deeper meaning of forgiveness or the point of no regret. They make us recall many times that when we say adios to certain emotions, people, or life, it is just a word and if we are alive and kicking, there is always a scope to go back and try to level the hurt. The music and lyrics are part of a unique rhythm of belongingness that can be as beautiful as the original track even if we cover it with different notes! Never forget that there are similar boats like ours. There are way more people trying to belong and bring about a sense of uniformity in their lives, like us! They are many who are different yet like us in emotionality or approach. We need to remember that it is also about the matter of the heart and soul along with rationality because it breaks alike for all. Whoever you may be, however practical and strong you may be, the sense of peace is the same for all of you even though the source may differ for each one of us!

Opinion Shack

Our Validations: Travelling from Inside-out!

March 8, 2022March 8, 2022
by Sameera Khan Rehmani

Today is International Women’s Day! The first message of the day I received was from my teacher wishing me! It involuntarily made me smile because perhaps compliments like these are what I need to charge my batteries for every day! I feel grateful for people like her who do not shy away from speaking their minds most of the time. I found her validation for me in surviving and thriving. I remember my talk with her around two weeks back. While she was appreciating my efforts to continue writing about topics that are so relatable, we stumbled upon the topic of getting validation and our need to feel individually validated! She suggested I write about this thought since this idea continues to stay with all of us rent-free. She is the force behind me writing about this because, even if we do not openly agree, it is considered a frivolous word and it brings about a sense of guilt in women all around. Since we are told all the time that women are selfless and goddess-like, self-sacrificial, and are like a goddess to be looked up to; then it is not correct for us to feel the need, and the less validation we need, the higher we climb in our sublimity. However, we fail to remind ourselves that we are all humans and have no need to become a deity because there are already a number of them present throughout our history. We all indeed need as well as want to talk about it at one time or the other but maybe most of the time we get carried away with our guilt. At other times just the superfluous celebratory media marketing strategies turn our minds to the immense amount of floating advertisements regarding the same.

Right from Starbucks to Pizza Hut there have been several offers celebrating our existence, especially around the 8th of March every year! One of my friends is even availing this immensely juicy offer of buy one get one free on Pizza delivery as I am writing my words. Reading similar numerous online shopping offers and exclusive membership makes me wonder, is this the ultimate kind of validation that is kept exclusive for us? Is it the real deal while we celebrate our yearly validations for our existence that we need as women? Makes me wonder about the oscillations of necessity between our need or want regarding this debatable concept of self-approval as well as approval by others. I understand that there is a great need for our self-validation. It is many times more important than others’ appreciation of us. Every day women are raising our voice at all levels for creating our importance. Almost all of us agree that we need to respect ourselves first for the way we exist but is the celebration enough in the form of pamphlets and advertisements about appreciating our existence by putting on offers for us to uplift our buying capacity? I guess not.

According to the psychological theory of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the integral aspects of motivation for human beings include love, a sense of belongingness, and respect. So when people around me say that we don’t do a particular deed to get validation from others, I just want to remind them a little at that point that the reaction that they get to their action is in one way or the other validation to themselves either by others or by self! When they say such a sentence, they forget that it is human nature to naturally bond with others and that bonding cannot be done in isolation. So what is needed to make that bond stronger is to bring some sort of harmony or consensus among the existing selves., which further requires the act of validating each other or self. To explain the thought, I will go no further than myself because I believe I am my best example. When I get fewer likes on my Facebook, Instagram, or even LinkedIn or Twitter, there is a sinking feeling. That may or may not be common with others but at some point, or the other our social media is a platform that unknowingly validates ourselves in our eyes with just a click of a button. It is one of the stronger tools that carry the power to make or destroy our personality due to its heavyweights and validity. Be it individual involvement or praising at the group level, the idea that there is someone of some platform out there that agrees without thoughts, views, opinions, and visions is enough to develop our adrenaline rush in us as individuals.

This case is not gender-specific at all. However, I am a woman, and the sir around me is surrounded with the celebration of our likes. This makes me talk about the topic that spreads far and wide and take it as a micro discussion about my gender. You all are free to interpret your fluidity in its discussions! Hence when I see such lovely promotions and beautiful and thought-provoking messages floating through WhatsApp and other modes of communications, I deliberately want to talk about it. We live in our bubble and that bubble is so elastic that its stretchability expands far and wide. But the moment that bubble bursts, reality comes into focus. The need to get validation for ourselves merges with our want for self-validation. The thin line dividing the two ends up merging further and blurs down boundaries from one to the other. So, when our partners, siblings, offspring, parents, friends, and associates end up putting a seal of approval on our actions, we feel that all the efforts that we did are so worth it! We can protest as much as we want, but we have created this situation for our need to get the desired validation at such a level that there seems to be no sure shot exit visible as of now. So next time you see an interesting celebration offer or promotion to celebrate your existence, do away with that guilt and avail yourself of it with open arms. Remember, this craving to gain validation for our actions is as important as fighting to gain the right to our existence. Let it be a day or perhaps a week of celebrations, do not deny it. There is no harm in getting validation even for small moments because many times we all deserve what we want and what we want is quite a few times what we need. You may differ in your opinions but my need for this validation about your thought process is as equal if not more important as your concept of non-dependency on need and want of any such appreciations!

Tag: <span>Starbucks</span>

Rhythm and Uniformity of Belongingness

Our Validations: Travelling from Inside-out!